How to Make Friends

How to build healthy relationships

If you want to know how to be a good friend, the secret of building healthy relationships is: what you need, give to others. That’s the only relationship advice you’ll ever need. Do unto others! You want to be seen; so do your friends. You want to be loved; so do they. You want to be appreciated; so do they. Now you know how to make someone happy, and you have everything to you need to do it!

printable pdf

Building strong relationships

Left side:

PLAN A
the usual (ineffective) methods
complain
beg
cry
dream
scheme
wait patiently
or impatiently
pretend
manipulate
flirt
mope
hope
threaten
mess up
give up

NOTE TO SELF: Plan A doesn’t work.

Right side:
PLAN B
perceive
love
appreciate
need
bond

Perceive. Have you ever felt, “No one sees me, no one recognizes me”? We all need to be seen and recognized for who we are. And we need attention. Attention makes us feel that people value us. And it gives us strength, because it’s a form of energy. So, to nourish someone’s heart, see them, recognize them, understand them, and give them your precious attention.

Love. Can you think of anything finer than being loved? If you want to give a gift of true value to someone, if you want to make a big positive difference in their life, give your heart — sincerely, generously. What could anyone want or need more?

Appreciate. Everyone needs their beauty and good qualities not just to be seen but also appreciated. So express your appreciation. It will mean the world to them.

Need. People need to be needed. To want and need someone is to fulfill one of their deepest desires. So forget the “self-protective” attempt to avoid disappointment by not depending on others. Dare to need people. It gives your friend a chance to be helpful, and a motivation to be trustworthy. It brings out their strength.

Bond. By following Plan B, you’ll create strong bonds of friendship — guaranteed!

Plan B WORKS: What you need, give to others.

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